Drawing a _____

Here's a glimpse into my life right now:

Writing. It's what I want to do, but sometimes I draw a complete and total blank. It's true. I mean, it's kind of hard to write when your character is knocked out stone cold for about an hour. I'm thinking of reviving him. I just have to get the scene right first. So hard, because each time I get it wrong I feel like he is still unconcious.

I've decided that watching TV is a really bad habit and that I should stop. Because I have so much to do and so little time. Isn't that just life?

The 4-H deadlines are coming up again and I'm sewing down to the wire again. I don't enjoy that.

Bible Quiz is starting up again mid summer and I don't have much memorized yet.

Vacation is upon me, but it's so hard to relax when I have a to-do list a mile long.

Not to mention...

But worrying is a sin. It's the result of not trusting in God like I should be.

Pray for me...

Random thoughts and goings on

My 4-H club meeting went well, I gave a demonstration on origami and how to make a Japanese Flapping Bird. And well, it flaps its wings when you pull its tail. That's pretty much it. In our club, the demos have to be somewhat short and to the point, considering that three-quarters of the club are not yet 10 years old. They want the demonstrations to be shorter, so they can eat the treats faster.
Today, I spent most of my time taking a Chemistry Module review test. Not my best subject.
I just got back from AWANA, my those girls in my group keep me busy, I have this theory that someday they will be Bible Quizzers too. One girl said 45 verses to me! And even though these are young kids, those verses are not that easy. They are so hard. I love how dedicated they are to learning God's word! I highly recommend the AWANA program to everyone who will listen.
I have a meeting tomorrow, and I am dreading it. I love the people, I really do, but when people gather to talk about how to do something hard, well... I can't say I am looking forward to it. I am a person who likes to avoid conflict at all costs. Like, I literally run from it. If I see someone that I may have a small conflict with, I apologize and then run (literally) as fast as I can the other way. In that way, I am really different than other people. I have a really hard time standing up for myself, really hard time. I could stand up for someone else in a heartbeat. But I get scared to death standing up for myself, I shake uncontrollably. I never thought, anyone ever did that when they got scared, until I noticed that I do that. Weird, huh? Like, that's why family is so good, they stand up with me, against the nay-sayers. I hope I can say what I have to.
I thank God for all the friends he has given me, that are fighters, because they pick up the pieces of the shattered me. When, I can't think straight, and all I can see is what someone said, and I can't remember what really happened, they stand with me and pray with me. I don't know what I would do without God and the friends that He sent me.
I have so many faults and by December you will probably know them all. I'm pretty much, an open book like that.
I haven't been watching reality TV much anymore. Actually never. It is a warm day in a Wyoming winter when I do.
I'm reading "A Pony Express Christmas," by Sigmund Brouwer, I felt like a little Christmas I guess.
Also stopped and started watching a strange mini-series that I don't understand, because all their problems are easy to solve.
But, anyway, hopefully tomorrow goes well, maybe I'll take a Chemistry test. Not a fan of moles. Neither kind. Though, I really haven't been exposed to enough of the animal kind to know...

Tomorrow is brand new

I guess I when you are hurt by someone and you choose to forget and forgive, it's like a huge weight is lifted from your shoulders. Everything is brand new. I still remember, but it doesn't hurt as much. When someone tells you that you are a complete failure and an embarrassment to their good name, it hurts. But I took it and admitted that I must have done something wrong, in their point of view. I know things will still be hard trusting won't come as easy as it did before, and I know that my guards will be up to the skies, but eventually, even those will come down too. When I think about it too much the pain comes flooding back. But then I take a deep breath and forget again. And believe me I am no saint and forgetting is hard for a quizzer who spends their time memorizing facts, to be able to pop them out on the drop of a key word. But I guess I figure that the brain space will be better used if I let go.
Right now I am reading Laurie Alice Eakes' "Lady of the Mist" one of the best new Christian books of the year! At least I love it!
Since nobody reads this. I guess I could say anything and nobody would hear me scream (theorioretically). But I reserve that right.
Over and out!