God is fair.

Today is Thursday.
Things will be awkward today I will not lie. Sometimes things are hard like that. Even though I'm quiet I tend to speak up when things are said that bother me. My views are diffferent; no they aren't perfect, but I defend them. I'm worrying again. I do that too much. It's a sin.
The thing is I attend a Bible Study, which all I will say is that I have to take the lessons with grain of salt. Last week's topic was, "Is God Fair?"
The lesson said, "No."
I said, "Yes."
Now to some people that might be confusing, so I will explain  my logic. The world is not fair. Life is not fair. God allows bad things to happen. But why do we think that things being fair is good? I don't think that anyone (besides folk who do), think being fair is a bad thing. People want that.
But life isn't fair. Well, it was corrupted by sin, as it says in Genesis when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, and brought sin into the world. But God wasn't corrupted by sin. Sin holds no power over Him. He is greater. God is all fairness, perfect and beautiful fairness. So I believe that God is fair. Things that are not  fair are the devil's handiwork.
Yes, I know that if things were fair, we'd all end up in hell. But because of God's mercy we are saved if we believe in His name. And I believe it with all my heart. I don't know how God works it out, but He does in His perfect way that is too hard for our limited minds to understand. Like, how predestination and free will work. They work together perfectly in a non-contradictory way that we just don't understand well at all.
God is the very meaning of fairness. Yes, the world is corrupted and it is falling apart and totally unfair. But the world is also full of sin. But I believe that the reason we humans strive for equalness and fairness is because it is one of God's attributes. One of His standards, that we will never reach, yet we strive for it.
So I guess the reason I was mad when the Bible study taught that God was not fair, was because it struck me as discounting God's perfectness. If you say that God is unfair, then it's like saying He's not perfect. Actually it is saying that He's not perfect. And that's wrong. Because if God weren't perfect the hope that we have would be in vain. Worthless.
The agrument that the Bible study made was that if God were fair, we would all me in hell and that striving for right and wrong, and justice, was a horribly sinful thing to do. Because they were trying to say that it discounted God's mercy. I believe that God is merciful and fair. And I thought that the text that was used was out of context and misused. Alot of the argument didn't seem to fit with the Bible, or be out of context. So I was very disturbed. I still am. I am in no way discounting God's unending mercy; I'm indebted to it. But I believe that God is much bigger than man's ideas and theories and divinely perfect in every way.

I also want to say that in no way am I trying to disrespect the Bible study teacher, that person is entitled to think the way that they want. I highly respect the Bible study teacher, I have learned much in that teacher's class. But sometimes, like now, I disagree.

I guess I just wanted to have my say. And I think I did. Thanks.


A 75 question tag about my story.

It seems like everyone is doing tags. So here is mine:

1.    What’s your word count? Gosh, I don’t really know, because it changes all the time.

2. How long until you finish?   Forever. Maybe.

3. If you have finished, how long did it take you? I’m not done yet. But my first story took me about a year for the rough draft.

4. Do you have an outline? Yes and no. I have one to a certain point, a very rough one, with plenty of room to grow and change. But I always have a basic outline so I don’t forget the main plot, and other important things. Though some scenes have detailed outlines, (confrontations with bad guys).

5. Do you have a plot? Yes. I would have a plot if I have an outline, wouldn’t I?

6. How many words do you typically write a day? 1,000

7. What was your greatest word count in one day? 5,000

8. What was your least impressive word count in one day? 0

9. What inspired you to write? Reading. Basically I would read a book and be inspired. I would say, “Wow, that was good. But someone should really write a book about ____” So then I wrote such a story.

10. Does your novel have a theme song? No. No music that I know of could capture the randomness of it.

11. Assign each of your major characters a theme song. I decline.

12. Which character is most like you? Cephas & Tav. Yeah, I picked two.

13. Which character would you most likely be friends with? Gabe, or Yves.

14. Do you have a Gary-Stu or Mary Sue character? No, that would be too predictable.

15. Who is your favorite character in your novel? Gabe.

16. Have your characters ever done something completely unexpected? Of course, it would be boring if they didn’t.

17. Have you based any of your novel directly on personal experiences? Directly, no. Indirectly, yes. Especially people wise.

18. Do you believe in plot bunnies? Yes, most certainly.

19. Is there magic in your novel? No.

20. Are any holidays celebrated in your novel? Mentioned in passing.

21. Does anyone die? Yes, in the back story lots of people die. And in actual story a few do met their demise. *sigh* I didn’t really know them anyway.

22. How many cups of coffee/tea have you consumed during your writing experience? Non. I strongly dislike coffee or and no tea. Caffeine is bad for you.

23. What is the latest you have stayed up writing? 10:30p.m.?

24. What is the best line? I can’t decide. Some are great sounding now, but won’t be next week.
25. What is the worst line? “
I remember that time he was telling everyone about the ancient mummifying practices of the Giki while we were all eating fresh venison at Michaelmas, Lennon shoved a large steak into his mouth…” he trailed off, cleared his throat and changed the subject.

26. Have you dreamed about your novel or its characters? Strangely, no.

27. Does your novel rely heavily on allegory? Not really.

28. Summarize your novel in under fifteen words. Rightful king is wronged; joins a rebel movement, and the good guys win. That was 13.

29. Do you love all your characters? Almost, except the villain, for which I can only pity. And even pitying him is a stretch.

30. Have you done something sadistic or cruel to your characters specifically to increase your word count? Not specifically to increase word count. No, that would be cruel and sadistic.

31. What was the last thing your main character ate? Venison roasted over an open fire.

32. Describe your main character in three words. Guarded. Logical. Seeker.

33. What would your antagonist dress up as for Halloween? Julius Caesar. He thinks that he’s that cool.

34. Does anyone in your story go to a place of worship? Not exactly. But he fellowships with other believers in their homes.

35. How many romantic relationships take place in your novel? One. Thinking about having one as a back story.

36. Are there any explosions in your novel? It is restricted to door bashing and other such crashing about. But that can be explosive. Not to mention explosive pain.

 37. Is there an apocalypse in your novel? No.

38. Does your novel take place in a post-apocalyptic world? Nope.

39. Are there zombies, vampires or werewolves in your novel? No, the thought disgusts me. There are already too many in books about such things.

40. Are there witches, wizards or mythological creatures/figures in your novel? No. No. No.

41. Is anyone reincarnated? No. That would be freaky and wrong.

42. Is anyone physically ailed? More  like war wounds, and the elderly have joint pain. Maybe.

43. Is anyone mentally ill? At times they act that way.

44. Does anyone have swine flu? Who made up this questionnaire anyway? NO!

45. Who has pets in your novel and what are they? Um, the hero has a horse.

46. Are there angels, demons, or any religious references/figures in your novel? Yes. No direct references to angels or demons.

47. How about political figures? Fictional ones. Like the King etc.

48. Is there incessant drinking? No, that would be gross and disturbing. And everyone would be dead.

49. Are there board games? If so, which ones? No time for games.

50. Are there any dream sequences? I’m thinking about writing one.

51. Is there humor? Yes. Why wouldn’t it.

52. Is there tragedy? Of course.

53. Does anyone have a temper tantrum? Yes, but it’s more of a venting of confusion and hurt.

54. How many characters end up single at the end of your novel? Almost all of them.

55. Is anyone in your novel adopted? Yes

56. Does anyone in your novel wear glasses? Maybe. Can’t decide if they have glasses or not.

57. Has your novel provided insight about your life? Yes, I would say so.

58. Your personality? Yes, helps me express myself better.

59. Has your novel inspired anyone? Well, it made my best friend who is also a writer want to spend more time writing.
     60. How many people have asked to read your novel? 2.

61. Have you drawn any of your characters? In my head.

62. Has anyone drawn your characters for you? No.

63. Does anyone vomit in your novel? Not that I know of. But I’ll think about it.

64. Does anyone bleed in your novel? Yes.

65. Do any of your characters watch TV? No. I wasn’t invented yet. And I believe that was a good thing.

66. What size shoe does your main character wear? I have no clue. 10?

67. Do any of the characters in your novel use a computer? No TV. No Computer.

68. How would you react if your novel was erased entirely? Be glad I have most of it written as a rough draft by hand.

69. Did you cry at killing off any of your characters? Not really. Since I haven’t killed any that I actually knew anyway.

70. Did you cheer when killing off one of your characters? No. Though there was a sigh of relief that the storyline would now fit together better.

71. What advice would you give to a fellow writer? Read! And even if you don’t ever get published or share it with anyone, write. Never stop. (Not literally, figuratively).

72. Describe your ending in three words. Justice is served.

73. Are there any love triangles, squares, hexagons, etc.? Sorta. But I might edit it out.

74. On a scale of 1-10 (1 being the least stressful, 10 being the most) how does your stress rank? 2
75. Was it worth it? Yes.
If you've read this far, you've been tagged! If you decide to do this, be sure and post a link to yours in mine's comments that way I can read and comment on yours. P.S. Yes, some of the questions are very weird.
Thanks for reading! Now you're tagged!


A choir of 4

Today at choir there were only 4 girls. Counting me. So nearly everyone had to sing a solo. Including me.

There are usually 8 girls and today there were 4. Yes, we were small already, but today we were smaller.
The cause of this strange disappearance of choir girls seems to be stemming from a serious case of stomach flu going around. I haven't caught it yet, but I may be next. Hopefully not until after this weekend, which is the state TBQ tournament. And as you may have already known I have to be there. Well, I don't have to be, I just really, really want to be.

I have been reading "By Darkness Hid," by Jill Williamson. I'll tell ya'll what I think of it when I get farther in to the book; but so far, so good.

I have entered a competition for Christian teen writers and the result will be released this week. I hope I get an honorable mention and get posted on the competition website. But it was a learning experience. The hardest part was making sure that the story didn't go over the 800 word limit. Which is kinda crazy for a wordy person like me. But I did enter, though I think the ending was predictable and could have been longer. The problems with limiting the number of words to a mere 800.

(Dramatic sigh).

Well, I guess that's all there is for today folks!


Black belt brother

Okay, today is the day my brother becomes a third degree black belt! Which is a huge accomplishment by the way. He is going to get his own class to teach at the martial arts academy, which is really awesome since he really likes kids. They love him too, something to do with his ultra-cool Justin Bieber-like hair. Just kidding!
Right now I'm reading "Sunlight and Shadow," by Cameron Dokey. It's not a Christian book, it's a re-telling of a fairy tale.
I always loved fairy tales, the heroes were always so romantic and doing brave things. And they were the only kind of story my brother and I could agree to have my mother read to us, as I liked the pretty princesses and their princes, and my brother liked the parts where the hero would kill the dragon or chop off the evil troll's head. Enough said. Brothers like stuff like that.

Ya'll come back now ya hear?


Geocaching and other adventures.

Today, I went geocaching for the first time with my 4-H club. It was fun finding the small containers and signing my name in the journal. It was also cold. Very, very cold. And wet. But, still an amazing experience. It's hard to believe that people hide these little things all over the place and we don't even know that one could be hiding in the fence or hanging from a tree, or under a bush. But a very cool, active activity. If you can describe an activity by saying it is active.

Last night at AWANA was crazy, in a good way but still crazy. A kid fell down and hurt himself in a really weird way, he's fine but still probably uncomfortable. I really can't say over the Internet.

We are raising money for AWANA clubs in other countries, so they can start their own clubs there. Which I hope we can do! We are one-quarter of the way to our goal, with one week of fundraising left.

My brother is testing for his third degree black belt Saturday, which he is so excited about. So am I! He takes his job as my brother very seriously and scares away creepy guys at the mall who try to hit on me. He likes telling people about his black belt in Tae kwon do. He was an AAU National champion a few years back.

Right now I'm reading, "Waiting out the Storm," by Ruth Logan Herne. Next on my list is "By Darkness Hid," by Jill Williamson. I have to read it before my brother finds out that it isn't a girl book!

We have some good friends going through hard times. When things like that happen, it's like Why? I can't really say what is going on, but it is so hard. And I am continually amazed at their faith. Even though they admit that this has been a struggle for them. Just thinking about the situation I want to cry. Makes me realize how blessed I am. And it hurts so much to see people you know go through hard times. I pray for them around the clock. I'm praying for a miracle.



The games were great!

The games went well, the Sparks won 2nd! They lost by 2 points, which is nothing in the AWANA games. So proud of my Sparkies! I was the score poster. So I knew the results before everyone else.
We had a missionary come and speak to the kids about Jesus. It was great!

I think my folks are springing for Chinese food tonight! Yum!

I should post another recipe soon, but I don't know which one. I'll think about it.



Let the Olympic games begin!

Hi, I bet you have noticed that I talk a lot about AWANA. That's probably because I love it and that's where I really started understand the Bible, and what Jesus did for me. Yes, for an awful person like me. So when I was old enough I started helping out with the SPARKS program at our church. And I love being able to help children learn more about God, and encourage them to hide God's word in their hearts.

Well, anyway this Saturday is the AWANA Olympics and I can't wait to see all the kids doing their best and engaging in good Christian competition. I have always been a fan of the games as a kid who was athletic, but never got pick for dodge ball or capture the flag games, these games were the times when I got to be included and encourage others. Something about it made me feel closer to the other kids if only for a month or so. I have so many fond memories of the games. So tomorrow, I will be there cheering on the Sparks. And the TNT. Most of them ex-Sparks.

My brother is assistant coaching this year. He is so proud of those kids. Not to mention how much they love him, he's just like this cool older kid who will play with them and he just has this coolness about him. He is so excited to see the kids he helped coach, do their very best. I will probably be helping with the judging or something.

The youth group will use this opportunity to fund raise by selling snacks to the spectators, kids and their parents. Mostly to the parents who have to pay. They will be going on something called B.U.M.P. this year. And many of the teens can work at the youth group's fund raisers to earn their way, which is really nice.

I have been trying to write some through all of this craziness going on in my life, but I guess sometimes the words don't come. Like now.

Their has been some stuff going on, divisions and the like, rumors are a' flying. That stuff is draining but there is hope that these things will be figured out. Hopefully soon.

I have been watching a very dramatic mini-series lately about this huge family feud, and how forgiveness and love can help to heal families like that. Though it wasn't a Christian drama, there was a lot of scripture quoted and read that was so meaning full and poignant, because they were deep passages that weren't just lightweight, I guess is how you would say it. Though I did watch it with a filter. I heard that it had some pretty bad scenes that I didn't really see. But the whole time I was thinking that they could have solved their problems faster than 60 years! With just a little less tradition, and a heap more understanding and forgiveness it would have been over in the first episode. But then there would be no drama!

So wish our team the best, and every other team the best as well!

Let the games begin!

Sorry if the randomness of this blog confused or lost you in anyway. I didn't mean to. I'm kinda hard to follow, so I apologize.

Thanks so much! Over and out!


Why Mr. Darcy?

I personally don’t know why so many girls say they want to find a Mr. Darcy. You know, like the one from “Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austen. I have never understood that. To me personally Mr. Darcy has always been a bit brooding and though he did truly have a heart of gold, and people completely misjudged him. So yes, that is quite romantic. And yes, that was pretty much the point. Well, I guess I should just say what I am trying to say, which is, I have always liked Mr. Knightley from “Emma.” He has always been my favorite Jane Austen hero. Mr. Knightley was a complete gentleman, kind and generous, with a good head on his shoulders, not to mention the fact that he put up with all of Emma’s silliness. He wasn’t the best at speaking his heart, but he knew his faults and was so practical and was always able to step back and see things just as they were, not to mention putting up with Emma’s silliness. Mr. Knightley was ever so polite, doing what was best, but not letting himself be pushed around. Though for all of you Mr. Darcy fans let it be known that I have nothing against Mr. Darcy, I just prefer Mr. Knightley when they are in comparison with each other. I have studied all the other Jane Austen heroes, and I do admit that I cannot find one better than Mr. Knightley. There was Edmond Bertram (Mansfield Park) who was to become a vicar, but I always think of the way he hurt Fanny by pursuing Miss Crawford. There was Edward Ferrars (Sense and Sensibility), who is pretty stiff competition but, I guess I just always think that Mr. Knightley would never in a million years enter in to such a hasty engagement, like Edward did with Lucy Steele, though Edward was honorably to a fault. And then there was Captain Fredrick Wentworth (Persuasion), who caused Anne pain when he engaged himself to Louisa Musgrove, a young woman too young for him. There was Henry Tilney (Northanger Abbey) who well, just isn’t that memorable, but not terrible. I guess I just wanted to know why so many people like Mr. Darcy so much. My friend from church, another girl my age is also a Mr. Knightley fan, and we engage in long conversations that guys don’t understand, talking about why we think Mr. Knightley is the best Jane Austen hero. Though I can see where Mr. Darcy is darker and more romantic, in a sense. So when I guess I just found it strange when I went to a bookstore and saw a book with a title proclaiming something about Mr. Darcy, and upon reading the back found that it was a story about why there should be more Darcy’s in the world. And then finding other books of a similar nature made me curious as I never had a thought like that in my life. So I guess this is that whole vampire/werewolf thing for Jane Austen fans. I never understood “Twilight” either.
Well, that was random. And if you know why everyone likes Mr. Darcy so much I would love it if you’d explain it for me.
Over and out!

My thoughts

I have been listening to the news non-stop almost, it is sad sad what happened with Japan and Hawaii. The earthquake and tsunami were devastating. I cannot help but think of my cousin, a marine stationed in Japan. Hopefully, he's okay.
    The pictures show so much just wiped away. Makes you stop and ponder God's power, like, that's nothing compared to what God can do.    


Random thoughts and goings on

My 4-H club meeting went well, I gave a demonstration on origami and how to make a Japanese Flapping Bird. And well, it flaps its wings when you pull its tail. That's pretty much it. In our club, the demos have to be somewhat short and to the point, considering that three-quarters of the club are not yet 10 years old. They want the demonstrations to be shorter, so they can eat the treats faster.
Today, I spent most of my time taking a Chemistry Module review test. Not my best subject.
I just got back from AWANA, my those girls in my group keep me busy, I have this theory that someday they will be Bible Quizzers too. One girl said 45 verses to me! And even though these are young kids, those verses are not that easy. They are so hard. I love how dedicated they are to learning God's word! I highly recommend the AWANA program to everyone who will listen.
I have a meeting tomorrow, and I am dreading it. I love the people, I really do, but when people gather to talk about how to do something hard, well... I can't say I am looking forward to it. I am a person who likes to avoid conflict at all costs. Like, I literally run from it. If I see someone that I may have a small conflict with, I apologize and then run (literally) as fast as I can the other way. In that way, I am really different than other people. I have a really hard time standing up for myself, really hard time. I could stand up for someone else in a heartbeat. But I get scared to death standing up for myself, I shake uncontrollably. I never thought, anyone ever did that when they got scared, until I noticed that I do that. Weird, huh? Like, that's why family is so good, they stand up with me, against the nay-sayers. I hope I can say what I have to.
I thank God for all the friends he has given me, that are fighters, because they pick up the pieces of the shattered me. When, I can't think straight, and all I can see is what someone said, and I can't remember what really happened, they stand with me and pray with me. I don't know what I would do without God and the friends that He sent me.
I have so many faults and by December you will probably know them all. I'm pretty much, an open book like that.
I haven't been watching reality TV much anymore. Actually never. It is a warm day in a Wyoming winter when I do.
I'm reading "A Pony Express Christmas," by Sigmund Brouwer, I felt like a little Christmas I guess.
Also stopped and started watching a strange mini-series that I don't understand, because all their problems are easy to solve.
But, anyway, hopefully tomorrow goes well, maybe I'll take a Chemistry test. Not a fan of moles. Neither kind. Though, I really haven't been exposed to enough of the animal kind to know...


I guess being president would be harder...

Being a 4-H secretary was not my first choice. I was nominated...by my brother. Sometimes it seems like recording minutes is tiresome, especially when everything is happening around you and by the time it happened and you have recorded it, the discussion is over. We are a small club, we don't discuss much. To those of you who aren't 4-Her's or ex-4-Her's, it is amazing how fast the meeting actually goes. Half an hour tops. I am again, here the night before the monthly meeting, wracking my brain for the subject of tomorrow's roll call. To many of you it might seem weird that a role call needs a subject, it's just mainly taking attendance, but instead of merely asking for their name and for them to admit that they are indeed present, I have to make up a question to ask them. A question such as, "What is your favorite thing to eat?" or "What do you enjoy doing for the holidays?" But I have asked so many of the generic questions that lately I have resorted to, "What is your favorite kind of pie?" Which didn't go so well since we don't live in a pie eating state. Kids don't eat pie here. They give you a blank stare and say, "I don't know, but I like chocolate cake."
So as you can imagine the well is running dry. I could ask harder questions, but sometimes those blindside the younger kids which are as young as Kindergarten, and well, I don't want to confuse them. Like, for example one night my question was, "In what 3 ways has 4-H enriched your life?" In my defense that question was in the suggestion pamphlet for what questions to ask for 4-H roll call. Let's just say that it didn't go so well and I changed the question to, "What is your favorite kind of ice cream?" Any ideas would be much appreciated.
As for my writing, I had a great night last night writing more than usual, because the scenes were just coming to me. I have a good friend, who helps me when I get stuck. She is a God-send.


In a nutshell

I have to say this is one of the craziest weeks I have had in a long time. The ups and downs of not knowing if you are right or wrong. The emotions, feeling that you are right one moment, and completely wrong the next. It's trying. And I am not a normally emotional person.
Sometimes in times like this all you want to see is black and white. That's how it should be. You want things to be open and shut, but they don't feel that way at all. Like today, when I turned around and realized that things were simpler than I thought. I wasn't completely wrong and they weren't completely right either. I guess that now I can thank God for showing me all these things that I was so blind to. And I do.
I have been studying for BQ since September. Sometimes it feels like forever. But this is another thing that I feel God has blessed me with; the passion to study His word. I can honestly say that I have never felt this driven to do anything. BQ is a beautiful experience. I would encourage every teen to spend their time doing this for God. I have been so blessed to meet so many devoted teens so devoted to God and studying his word through BQ. Oh, and this year we are studying the Gospel of John. Regionals are around the corner and I am so excited! Though, our team has to qualify first. I guess that is the one hurdle between our team and their dream. If only state had been last month when we won the meet...
School is going great. Chemistry is going well despite my strong dislike of chemical equations, things are always reacting with other things behind your back, transforming them selves and linking up with other things.
Besides that I have AWANA, where I also memorize verses. I am doing advanced AWANA through high school. I must say that I am very thankful for my memory. They say if you do the memorizing now at this point in your life it will stick with you forever. I hope so!
I hoping that everyone gets over the colds my brother happily shared with us, though I am not sick I'm not feeling the best.
It's hard to believe the people on TV are already talking the next presidential campaign in 2012, goodness we are still recovering from the mid-terms. (The media going crazy, the speculation, etc.)
I am quite random so please forgive this random out pouring of randomness near the end of this post.
Ya'll come back now ya' hear?


Tomorrow is brand new

I guess I when you are hurt by someone and you choose to forget and forgive, it's like a huge weight is lifted from your shoulders. Everything is brand new. I still remember, but it doesn't hurt as much. When someone tells you that you are a complete failure and an embarrassment to their good name, it hurts. But I took it and admitted that I must have done something wrong, in their point of view. I know things will still be hard trusting won't come as easy as it did before, and I know that my guards will be up to the skies, but eventually, even those will come down too. When I think about it too much the pain comes flooding back. But then I take a deep breath and forget again. And believe me I am no saint and forgetting is hard for a quizzer who spends their time memorizing facts, to be able to pop them out on the drop of a key word. But I guess I figure that the brain space will be better used if I let go.
Right now I am reading Laurie Alice Eakes' "Lady of the Mist" one of the best new Christian books of the year! At least I love it!
Since nobody reads this. I guess I could say anything and nobody would hear me scream (theorioretically). But I reserve that right.
Over and out!